Love Is Always Worth It

by Nate Dionne

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1.
Cat Back 02:34
You’ll wait through the wind and the rain. Think of the answers for the problems you’ve made. Will they say “hey, we want somebody to save”? Like they’d know you from Adam. I made the same mistake. Just assumed it’d be better. “And I said really??? Did you put *him* through this???” Could not see clearly, though. Just though it might be fun to take a risk. Don’t even ask me if it was worth it man, I’ll tell ya. It won’t just get better today, but it won’t be better this way.
2.
Beat 02:57
Envy for the wicked as the meek, but they’re always gonna be just out of reach. I’m scared. What if I never get there? Broke and hiding out in some dingy lair. Who cares? I hope everybody stares. I’m just happy to be out in daylight. I’m beat. How does anybody sleep with that car alarm going off outside? I’ve been hearing it for all my life. I should like everybody else would but the planets never wanna align. They care cause I ever get there they’ll just say I used up all my time, and I’ve been hearing that for all my life. Wore out all of their coattails. Got lapped by the winding their sails. Another ten years, that’s what I need, and a map of more than where to be. But that shit ain’t cheap. Request an instant removal for my need for constant approval, unless that crosses any lines, unless that makes it more unkind y’know its fine, I think I’ll be alright, I’ve been hearing it all my life.
3.
Weighted 04:07
I can feel it falling of the trees. Weighted winter, weighted just for me. I can feel it. Is it all a game? Weighted winter still weighs the same. I need a way to the faucet. Pitch black and lost, it looks just like it sounds. Follow the drip with a flashlight, bright white necktie, buried under the ground. I knew it all wasn’t happenstance. I made the call based of evidence. A new day with a purpose; create a world from the surface. Taking the trash to the dump I get lost and can’t find my way home now. It’s funny after the fact, its not emblematic, just how it turned out. I’d rather go through the learning curves than live through what I know is worse. You said it all was a leap of faith, a new life in a different place. I’m glad I followed you through it all. We both knew it would take time to come together. I’ve always said that slower is better.
4.
Magic Word 03:05
Something’s wrong. What’s it called? Drink tickets hold my hand as I wait in line. Try to listen to my friend but I’m in my mind. I lie and say “it’s too loud in here” when I’ve just been bad with crowds this year. I can’t say what it is exactly, from A to Z it all escapes me. The stress doesn’t stop me from going out at all. Start wishing I was under the sheets when I fake a call. And maybe I just need rest. And maybe it’s all in my head. I know I can think of something else to do. But maybe its for the best. It grinds me down to a single purpose tryna find out what the magic word is. Stuck in a pattern like a drunk in daylight who gets home early and calls it a life.
5.
Reason 03:55
I hope you understand the reason why I wandered off that day. Too many thoughts, too many feelings. What they were I couldn’t say. Felt em running through my head and then falling through my hands. I’m a desert of emotion, you can’t pinch a grain of sand. I don’t wanna know why you said that. That you thought to say it is as bad as anything you’d say to justify whatever fucked up thought on your mind. They do it all. They do it all without you. Compare control. If this is how I lose I’ll do it well. There can’t be too many losers left in hell. Damned to spend the rest of their time hearing takes that they don’t really like. Its not like they would ever speak their mind, they just have to sit there take it marinating in something you might find brewing. Thats fine with me, just don’t tell me what you think.
6.
Working 2 02:27
Just call it off. None of the machines will turn on. The tracks are bound the fuel is out the trailer’s locked. No overtime for three straight weeks. The foreman’s fed up. Who would ever know if we clocked in for a full day and then just went home? Do I have to explain it? Cause you gave me this tip; we’re all worth more than this. Here’s what we’ll do. We’ll stay till our raises go through. Until then wait just do the job and pray for rain and pinch our pennies stack em tall its all the same. I don’t wanna go home. I don’t have enough hours to pay off all my loans. So I guess if we’re working then I’m here working too. Cause I know I’m not lazy, so don’t tell me to screw. I’ve got nothing to prove. This is just what I do.
7.
As I wait for the answer, my dreams wake me up. By then it’s all turned to rust. And they’ve got it easy, but that don’t bother me. That conflict brings tranquility. And I could find a diamond had I moved the rocks, but I’d already turned the forest to dust. And any hidden treasure that is left unfound can’t be used to power their house. And as I right the wrecker it doesn’t bother me, but I don’t see the flames for the trees. Its not what they’re selling, its not what I’m buying. No matter what they still own me.
8.
Love is always worth it even when the whole thing falls apart. Arms are full, you’re uncertain where the missing pieces are. Love is always worth it, even if it doesn’t last that long, cause when the damn things working its not like anything at all. Love is always worth it, though its never been easy. Special like the sides of ourselves that only we have seen. Love is always worth it, like how even a velvet glove cast in iron fits like something the angels wear above. Love is always worth it, even if the whole world goes to shit. It may be a dying planet but love is always worth it. Love is always worth it, though we rarely get the hint. Our lives might be meaningless but love is always worth it.
9.
It has it all, but doesn’t talk. Its not like me, like in my dreams. It moves like you, just like the truth. What it does next? Anyones guess. It hasn’t changed like yesterday. What it does now will stick around. You want control. What you don’t know biodegrades. True renegade. No future caps, erosion maps. No manmade lakes. Functional fakes. It is contained, but it won’t say when it will break. Better that way. No panic packs, no doomsday plan. You’ll meet the sea and feel the sand. You’ll have it all just like you want.

about

Songs written and recorded by Nate Dionne at his home in Connecticut, CT for short.

Drums and Mixing done by Dan Angel close to the Boner Forever building.

Mastered by Arthur Rizk on his toilet.

Cover photo by Lauren Bennett-Dionne.

Released via text message by Ranch Jams.

Thank you to my wife, borat voice, my family, Dan, Arthur, Sam, Peter, Brain, Dave, Phil R, Phil W, Lauren, Jesse, Cody G, Gabby, JR from work, my housemates for letting me track vocals while you were home during your free time and certainly not wanting to be hearing someone track vocals, and many many many more.

No thanks to every job I’ve ever had, save for one, possibly two.

credits

released November 22, 2020

NateDionne
Dan Angel
Arthur Rizk

license

all rights reserved

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